Playlist 2019

5 years. My worst fear is ending up like my mother – after my father passed – 31 years. Alone. She’s good with that. I’m getting there.

Heard this one in Mexico while running from a local. I heard it in front of a clothes store front. Then he appeared again. Go the the bus depot, they said. we’ll be there in a few minutes, they said. The local was there. Then I left the depot… because I felt cornered. He showed up 2 more times… and I jumped in front of a taxi and got away. By the way – I’m too old for this shit. That was last year. 5 years now.

I did go back for the small ones. Like a fucking warrior – at the end of my rope – hunting to find them. I was free. Who could leave little ones behind… not me. I learned right away… I’d be alone the rest of my life. No regrets. I would do it a 100x… over and over.

When I found them… over the phone – Me: I’m coming for you! I’m going to get you. I’m not leaving without you. I’m still here. Tina – 3 years old (almost 4) Right mom, whatever you say. Zack – 2 years old in the background (almost 3) : let me talk to mom. Mom… I know you are going to come for us! Me: I am. I really am.

It was his faith, his belief in me, that gave me the strength I needed to keep going. He’s 26 now. They remember NOTHING about it.

BCT – Las Vegas. 1996: DJ D Peralta saw the scar on my hand… from where I stopped the vice scrips from hitting my face. He was a great friend. He coached me… with

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