So, I made it to 500 people in my network.. Woo hoo. I have to admit… I stopped connecting with people I knew and started connecting with cute guys. What…? LOL
I’m kind of old and kind of fat…
Old I can’t change. Fat.. well, that’s relative.
But I’m also kind of tired of being alone. I do so like to be alone. However, I also like company.
So, if you are a techie.. if you are a g33k or a haxor…If you know what it means when I say – ping me when you get a minute…
I am seriously fat.
I see more disgusting women than me with dates. OMG… It must be… my personality. LOL.
Is it my stye… I’ve had this damn eye thing for months… UGHHHHHH!
It’s the big glasses… isn’t it…
It’s because I have a shitty phone cam…!!!!
God damn, I’ve been single over 3 years.
My ex has had 13 girlfriends in that time.
The only action I’ve seen was getting groped by 2 guys – unwanted, incidentally.
Am I so awful? I have hair, most of my teeth and I’m Asian – with boobs! LOL. I know. Not… attractive.
Check this out. I was working on helping this lady at a Coffee hour with her Thunderbird… and then her husband wanted help – I said, “I just got lucky” and without missing a beat he goes ,”Come on… when was the last time you got lucky.”
Laughed my ass off.
The last few weeks, I was having some struggles with dealing with my past. I really had a rough few years where I had a roommate who was… psycho. No, seriously. I needed a place to live and this psycho wouldn’t let me leave. It was hell. The past is gone, I’m free but somewhere in my mind, it still haunted me.
I honestly didn’t know how I was going to cope with these “flashbacks” or memories that kept coming to the surface.
Then, I was contacted by my 3rd grade crush, Christopher Myers – from Niantic, CT.
I told him, if he had played his cards right, he could have woke up to this every morning and took a pic of myself…
I totally believe in God. You might not, but don’t deny the timing there.
We talked for hours, I cried. He was perfect. Too perfect. We talked for hours and hours. I worked through some of my anger, resentment and hurt. I didn’t forgive, forget or trust him!
Ultimately, he sent me a lobster. It cost a few hundred dollars. He’s not rich by any means. He works as a QC tech in Connecticut for like… 25/hr or something. I was making that like 15 years ago but whatever.
He started sending shirtless pictures. I didn’t really understand it all. He started talking like he wanted to see me and agreed to kiss me. Well, I entertained that thought. He could be my first kiss and my last kiss.
And that would be poetic… if there weren’t other people and kisses in between.
Could I ever forgive him for hurting me, not caring about me? Could I ever forgive him, ever?
I was trying but it wasn’t working.
I wanted to see him. I wanted his arms around me.
I’ve been so alone.
That’s when I realized I was still attracted to him.
There was a problem. He was a player in the past. How could I trust him?
I could not.
I could not trust him with my heart.
He didn’t deserve it.
If he worked for it but he didn’t want to do that.
He wanted a lover. I wanted a friend.
What happened after was – interesting.
He may be used to treating dependent women like shit but I was like… I can buy my own lobster… let me reimburse you.
There’s actually more to it than that…
So, basically, I think he thought his wonderful gesture entitled him to do whatever he wanted. While I may have some issues (being taken hostage for several years will do that to you), I absolutely respect myself.
He didn’t respect himself. For serious. He posted a picture of himself with a lobster, shirtless – and his alleged ex commented, “Sexy where’s your shirt”.
But that wasn’t the worst of it… he totally was nervous about his training and I supported him through that, trying to help him relax and prepare. He scored a 92, but then, when he posted it, his alleged ex wrote, “Told you so, Love you.”
I could have died.
So, I blocked him. Within a minute I received a text saying, “You blocked me!” blah blah blah. So I blocked him on text also. Now, I let my phone service lapse on my burner phone number I gave him because I’m just cray cray like that…
So, here’s some advice. You can’t fuck me for a lobster…
A jet maybe.
Not a lobster.